Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
