Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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