we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
