It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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