what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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