and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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