I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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