you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
