My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My life is pants optional.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
