Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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