so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
