I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize