his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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