i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
