I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Life is so much better after having sex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
