I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
