The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
