Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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