I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
