Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
