I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
