His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
