she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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