He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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