I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
