i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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