We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
