Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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