she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
