im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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