It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
