shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize