i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
