That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
