I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
