Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
