i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
