i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
