Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
