My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
