he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
