I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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