you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
