Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
