he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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