Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize