Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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