Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
