Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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