I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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