Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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