one might say we're banned from that church
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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