I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
her vagine was all disorganized.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
