Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
