It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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