I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
