So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
