i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
