how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize