I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Never joke about your clitoris.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
