Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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