This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
