how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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