i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
