His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
