I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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