I didn't shave. On purpose
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
