Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
A bitchslap is in order.
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