Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
