hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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